


Possibly Maybe Better Left Unsaid

by Vibrantly_Virgo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, Almost a kiss, Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Cuddling Somewhere, Dating, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Family Problems, Friends to Lovers, Holding Hands, Homophobia, Homosexuality, Hormones, Kissing, M/M, Not really but it's a tag, Platonic Cuddling, Sexual Tension, Sick Castiel, Sick Dean Winchester, Sickfic, Sleeping Together, Star Trek - Freeform, Star Trek: Into Darkness, Texting, diner, on a date, watching a movie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-01-16 12:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1347220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vibrantly_Virgo/pseuds/Vibrantly_Virgo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>DISCONTINUED </p><p>High School AU. 30 Day OTP Challenge with plot line. Castiel and Dean are best friends who are oblivious towards each other's infatuation. They both want the other, but it's possible that "the heart wants what the heart wants" isn't a good moral to live by. </p><p> Tags will be updated along with story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. If You Only Knew

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1: Holding Hands
> 
> This probably won't be done in a month.

"Cas, this _sucks_." Dean complains. Actually, "this" comes out more like "dis", but the 17 year old can't help that he's congested past comprehension. 

Cas grins fondly at the Winchester, forcing a teasing laugh back. "You're the one that thought going outside to play baseball when it's 40 degrees outside was an intelligent idea."

"I wasn't even out for that long." the ill teenager protests. Castiel finds it nearly impossible to not laugh at his stuffy, scratchy voice. "Dean, you were out there for a little over two hours."

"Shut up." Dean pouts, shivering violently and pulling the pile of blankets father up his burning frame- although he feels like he's submerged in ice. Castiel and his mother are the ones who are saying he's practically on fire. 

Knowing he had won, Cas smirks smugly. "Do you need anything?"

"I need you to get the hell out of here so you don't catch this." Dean tries, knowing that it was no use- the 16-year old has always looked out for him and protected him (and vice versa, of course. They became friends because of Dean protecting him), and he wasn't going to stop now. Cas doesn't even say anything- he just sends Dean a knowing look, shifting his weight, folding his arms and raising his dark eyebrows. The two have a staring contest for a moment, deep, ocean blue eyes boring into red-rimmed, emerald ones, but then Dean has to sneeze as loudly as an elephant, and Cas wins yet again. He seems to be doing that a lot lately, but Dean feels too much like shit to be stubborn and take care of himself. So he's succumbing and allowing his best friend to win. 

"M'cold." he finally mumbles, defeated, throat uncomfortably sore and his head pounding with a skull-splitting migrane. 

Cas chuckles quietly, picking at the corner of one of the many blankets Dean is occupying. "You've already stolen every one in the house." Dean groans in frustration, shivering again. "Turn up the heat, then."

"It's at 78, Dean. Everyone else is wearing shorts." To emphasis his point, Cas wipes the accumulating sweat off of his forehead. 

"They can run around naked for all I care. Turn it up." Dean snaps rather rudely, not because he's pissed at Cas but because he doesn't feel that great in the slightest. But he adds, "Please" for good measure. He feels terrible for making him basically act as his servant, on the weekend of all things, but Castiel genuinely doesn't seem to mind that his plans with Dean have changed to taking care of his sick ass. So he takes Dean's temperature first- 103.4, a little worrisome but not worth going to the hospital over- and then hurries to find Mary to request turning the heat up just two more degrees. 

Castiel really doesn't mind. He likes being there for Dean. Being needed by him. It's one of the best feelings Castiel ever thought possible. He just wish that Dean would share his feelings of love that he held for him, that's all. 

But Dean was straight, and interested in girls. Boobs, curves, the works. Not guys. 

Not Castiel. 

He forces that depressing and heart-wrenching thought out of his head as he approaches Dean's mother, who is preparing chicken noodle soup. Castiel still doesn't understand how it "helps the soul," but it's whatever. If it truly helps Dean get better, he was willing to give it to him. 

"Dean would like the heat to be turned up again." Mary scoffs, fanning herself with her hand. Her face is coated with a thin layer of sweat. "I'm burning up in here!" She smiles kindly though. "He's not sick that often, but when he gets hit, he gets hit hard."

Castiel nods in agreement. "I do as well." He can't even remember the last time he was sick clearly- he recalls being hospitalized, though. 

Mary sends Cas a sympathetic look. "Castiel, you really don't have to help take care of him." Castiel nods rapidly to assure her. "It's okay. I want to." Mary smiles widely, turning back to the soup and stirring it. "Dean is so lucky to have you. Thank you. And if you doesn't thank you too than he's in trouble." Castiel laughs lightly. "You are both welcome." And, with permission, he leaves to turn the heater up to 80. 

\---

"Is that any better?" Castiel walks back into the room a couple minutes later, hoping to see at least a little improvement. 

"'M still cold." Dean mumbles, eyes tired but focused on his TV- Star Wars, by the looks of it. Castiel can't think of anything else that would help Dean, until he does- and he wishes he hadn't. Sharing body heat. And with the blush Castiel suddenly sports, he could probably warm all of Antarctica. Images flash behind the safety of his mind, and he shoves those away, heat pooling in his stomach. He really doesn't need this right now. 

"I'm sorry." he apologizes, voice strained. He considers saying it. As a joke, of course. But not really. "Would you like me to get in there with you and warm you up?" _Did that actually come out of my mouth?_ It sounds mostly lighthearted. Mostly. 

Dean snorts, and then coughs a couple times. "Dude, you wish." _Oh, if you only knew..._ Castiel thinks, and while he's silent, Dean continues. 

"It would be weird. 'Cause you're my best friend 'n' all. I haven't even cuddled with my girlfriends." Which have been too many to count and keep up with, especially lately. He's hooked up with so many girls (whether that means dates or sex, Cas isn't sure. He's jealous either way) in the last couple months. Cas wishes he could. He wishes he could stop thinking about Dean's vibrant green eyes with golden flecks, his freckles that encrust his body like a galaxy of stars, his charming grin that sends girls (and him) swooning, those plush lips that look extremely kissable, and the fact that his _entire body_ just looks kissable...

Cas snaps out of it when Mary hurries in, carrying a tray with a bowl of soup, a can of Sprite, and some napkins. Dean sits up a little and thanks his mother gratefully for the food. She musses his already disastrous hair and leaves the two alone again, allowing Castiel to wallow in his slightly inappropriate thoughts while Dean eats in silence, focused on Star Wars again. 

\---

Dean finishes the soup, but doesn't even have it in his system for three minutes before he's turning green, dashing to the bathroom, and puking it all back up again. Castiel hurries after him, kneeling down next to Dean's trembling frame as he retches into the toilet. Castiel rubs his back comfortingly, cringing when Dean throws up again, a few sobs racking his body too. 

"Go..." he manages to moan out before spilling out his guts again. He reaches to push Castiel out, but Castiel shows him that he's not going anywhere by grabbing that hand and holding it comfortingly, finger intertwined. He doesn't care anymore. It's the only comfort he can seem to provide at the moment (there's also the fact that he's _holding Dean's hand..._ ). Dean pants, clutching at both his hand, hardly ashamed, (if even ashamed at all) and the side of the toilet. He thinks maybe he's done, and rests his forehead against the cool porcelain of the toilet seat, moaning and even crying a bit in pain. "I'm sorry." Dean wrinkles his nose in disgust, the smell repulsive but something Cas can ignore. He's shocked that Dean would even say sorry. "You can't help throwing up, Dean. Don't apologize for something you can't control." Dean then turns his head slightly to look at their conjoined hands, and Castiel goes to pull away, only to have Dean tighten his grip. "Don't." Castiel can't help the flush that spreads across his cheeks. His hand is warm in Dean's hot, tight grip, and it's tingly and it would be nice if Dean wasn't nearly dying over the toilet.

"I need you, Cas..." Dean says, almost too quietly for Castiel to hear. But he did, and he grins shyly, squeezing his hand in reassurance. It took a lot for Dean to admit that, and he's so ecstatic that he did. "I'm not leaving you." Dean tries to return the smile, but he has to turn back to the toilet and puke some more. Castiel uses his free hand to rub Dean's back, and wait for him to be truly done. As he said, he wasn't going to leave Dean. Especially if he admitted to needing him, the boy who never shows weakness, or when he's hurting, the one who always puts others' feelings before his. The one who hates talking about those because he feels like he's in a "chick-flick."

Dean grips tighter, and Castiel runs his thumb over the back of his hand soothingly. He doesn't care if he gets sick from all this. He isn't concerned about it. All he cares about is being there for Dean.


	2. No Special Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2: Cuddling Somewhere

Dean returns to school on Monday, a little sniffily but definitely healthier. Cas thinks that he probably still feels the lingering affects of whatever he had, because he walks into their English class, right past Lisa Braeden without even acknowledging her. And he sits down in his normal place next to Cas and immediately flashes him a bright white smile. 

Cas can't help but return the smile, happy that Dean picked him over the head cheerleader, and the next girl on his hit-list (that is more for fucking girls than killing them). But his grin falters as his stomach protests the banana he forced himself to eat this morning- he refuses to admit that he may have caught Dean's illness, even though he's also a bit chilled, barely surviving in a navy sweatshirt and some grey sweatpants, his limbs are sore despite not having worked out hard, his brain feels like it's pulsating in his skull, attempting to shatter it, and he's fatigued.

"Mornin' Cas." Dean chirps happily, grinning even wider. Cas is glad he feels better, but wishes _he_ didn't feel like he was hit by a bus. 

"Morning." he manages. Oh, he even _sounds_ like he was hit by a bus. He clears his throat, causing it to feel like it was ripped open by the vibrations. Dean's smile falls off his face completely, lips shaping into a concerned frown. "You're sick, aren't you?" It's a statement more than a question as told by the tone of his voice, and Castiel doesn't even bother to reply. 

"Damn it, Cas, I knew you would catch this." Dean leans over and reaches up suddenly, pressing the back of his hand against Castiel's unusually warm forehead. Cas starts, unable to control his blushing at the feeling of Dean touching him, his face, being close enough to his face to lean in and-

The palm of Dean's hand rests on his cheek. "You're really hot." Castiel feels his blush deepen, knowing that Dean meant it as an observation and not a compliment but not able to avoid his sheepishness. 

"Seriously, you need to go to the nurse." Dean pulls away from him, the sudden loss of his warmth making Castiel shiver involuntarily. But his shakes his already throbbing head, and thanks the Lord when the rest of the students file in and the teacher decides to start class. Dean sighs, leaning back into his seat. But the teacher starting her lessons doesn't keep him from subtlety watching Cas out of the corner of his eye. 

Not five minutes into the lecture, Cas jumps out of his seat, sprints across the room, and bursts out the door. The rest of the class is startled, and the instructor immediately looks to Dean for explanation. 

"He's sick." And with that, he gets up, gathers up all of their stuff as quickly as he can, and rushes after his sick friend. 

\---

Dean slams into the bathroom door with his shoulder, hands too full of his and Cas's books to use them. Immediately, the sounds of retching echoes in his ears. He places all their stuff down in the corner and goes to the first stall, knocking on it. "Cas, you okay?" The rancid smell of bile makes him want to gag, but his concern for him friend overpowers the urge to. 

"No." Castiel manages before starting round two. Dean cringes, pressing against the stall door to find it locked. How he had time to lock the stall was beyond him, but he backs away and leans against the wall. He feels terrible for passing on his sickness to Castiel, even though it wasn't his fault (It was more Cas's, to be honest). Nevertheless, he is going to take care of Cas much in the same way Cas took care of him. If that means holding his hand as he barfs into the toilet, then so be it. 

Which, usually, Dean would have minded. But when it comes to Cas, he has no issue with the matter. He actually _wants_ to hold his hand...and honestly, that kind of scares him a little. So did the fact that Lisa Braeden was waiting for him today, the girl he has been trying to get to for months, and she was wearing that one low cut top...and Dean couldn't even look at her. Or talk to her. He simply didn't want to. All he wanted to do was talk to Cas. 

Again. That scares him. Because he has an idea as to why. 

Actually, he's had the idea for months now. 

He shakes his head wildly, needing a distraction. So he pulls out his phone, and then thinks of what to do. He sends a text to his mom. 

**Cas is sick so im gonna take him home**

**_Okay, but you better finish all your homework that you'll have tomorrow. Love you!_ **

He grins at the fact that his mom knows him so well and just automatically assumes that he'll stay with him. 

**I will love you too mom**

Castiel opens the bathroom door just as Dean slides his phone back into his pocket. Castiel is a shaking, sweaty mess, his dark hair more wild and out of place than usual and looking as pale as a ghost. 

"Better?" Dean asks, and Castiel slowly wobbles towards the sinks. Dean prepares himself to catch him if needed, but Cas makes it without falling. He grasps the edge of the sink with both hands. "No. I feel dizzy now." His voice is rough and scratchy- well. More so than it normally is. He leans down carefully and washes his mouth out as best as possible. Dean searches for a breath mint and manages to find one, handing it to the sick teen with a quiet, "Here." Cas takes it gratefully and pops it in his mouth. 

Dean gathers up all their stuff quickly. "I'm taking you home and staying with you, okay? Screw the nurse." Castiel, usually protestant about skipping school, simply nods, and follows Dean to their lockers to drop off their books before they go outside. Castiel shivers against the cool air, and Dean strips himself of his brown leather jacket and holds it out to him. Castiel's eyes go wide. "I don't want you to get sick again." Dean rolls his eyes, bright green against the light of the sun. "Dude, you need to stay warm." A violent shiver racks through Cas's body again, so he takes the jacket and shrugs it on. Dean then wraps his arm around his shoulders and leads him to the Impala. He can't help but think how much they look like a couple right now, his arm around Cas and him in Dean's jacket, which is too big on his frame.

Once they're in, Dean looks over to Cas. "If you need to throw up again, tell me so I can pull over. Don't do it in baby." He rubs the dashboard affectionately. Castiel grins weakly. "I'll make sure to absolutely ruin your car." Dean scoffs before grumbling, "Good to see you still have your sense of humor, Cas," and putting the Impala in reverse to back out of the parking lot.

\---

They make it to Castiel's enormous house (seriously, Dean's house is like a third of it. And it's a two story.) with no incident. Castiel immediately falls onto his bed when they get into his room, hiding completely under the covers in a trembling ball. 

Dean grimaces and places his hand on the teen, trying to offer some sort of comfort. "I'll get you more blankets and some water. You want anything else?"

"T-turn the heat up t-to 90 degrees." Dean chuckles. "Hey now, I don't think you want me running naked around your house either." 

"At this p-point I w-wouldn't mind, but I also wouldn't a-advise it bec-cause any of my si-siblings could arrive u-u-unexpectedly at anytime." Dean blushes at the fact that Castiel just gave him permission to be naked, thinks about being naked, then thinks about being naked with Cas and-

"Yeah. Okay. I'll uh- I'll turn it up to 80 then." He attempts to swallow his slightly wrecked tone. "That good?"

"It's g-good enough." Cas groans, and Dean all but sprints out of the room, hating himself and hating his hormones.

\---

An hour later, even with medicine and tons of blankets, Castiel's temperature of 102 hasn't lowered but a few decimal points and he's still freezing. Dean makes him take more medicine, but he knows that if it even kicks in, it's going to take a while. 

Castiel moans as a violent shiver makes his entire body shake, and he buries his face even deeper into the covers. 

"I'm sorry, Cas." Dean apologizes for the hundredth time. He's a terrible nurse and a terrible friend because he can't do anything to help the one person that would help him if the situations we reversed. 

Because he did. 

Ugh. 

"Qu-quit apolog-gizing." 

"Dude you're freezing your ass off and I can't do anything else but watch." Dean argues stubbornly. 

"Watch TV."

"I'm not gonna watch a freaking documentary about bees, Cas."

All of the sudden, Cas's phone rings, a loud shrill that makes him cringe. Dean jumps himself, and then rushes over to the phone to look at the caller ID before Castiel can even move. "It's Gabriel."

"Pr-probably wondering wh-where I am." the pile of blankets replies. Dean answers the phone. "Hello?"

"Dean? Where's my little brother?" Gabriel demands angrily. Dean rolls his eyes. "He's right here. He threw up during first so I took him home."

"Put it on speaker." his brother orders, and Dean rolls his eyes. "Of course, your highness." He follows Gabriel's rude request and places the phone on Castiel's blanket-engulfed form. 

"Hi, G-Gabe." Cas speaks weakly.

_"You sound like shit."_

"Anyone ever tell you that you should become a motivational speaker?" Dean retorts, and Castiel shakes with laughter instead of a shiver. Considering that a win, Dean smiles. 

_"Shut up, Winchester."_ He pauses to explain the situation to someone else- probably Anna- and then comes back to the phone. _"Anyway, I'm having to cover for your asses, so you should show a little respect."_

"Thank you." Castiel says for the both of them, watching Dean shake his head no. 

_"You're welcome, Cassie. Now, no special cuddles while we're not there, okay?"_ Dean's face heats up and he yells at Gabriel in protest. " _No one_ is going to be doing _any_ type of cuddling here, thanks." Dean looks to find Castiel's face hidden in the covers and thinks that his nose must be still cold. 

_"Hey, Castiel_ is _cold. Might wanna help him out."_

"I'm not having sex with your brother!" He swears he hears Cas squeak or something. He, on the other hand, is trying to keep his mind from picturing that and his dick from getting unnecessarily hard. 

_"No, not that! ...definitely not that. I meant cuddling. Sharing body heat and all that._ With _clothes on! It might help. Be good, little brother."_ And with that, Gabriel hung up. 

"Oh my God, I hate your brother sometimes." Dean tosses the phone back on Castiel's nightstand. "I mean, _cuddling?_ What am I, a thirteen-year old girl?" (In reality, Dean thinks he must be, because cuddling with Cas actually sounds pretty damn nice.) Castiel still doesn't say anything. Dean tilts his head to the side in confusion, a trait he realizes that he picked up from the king of confusion himself. "Cas?" Castiel reluctantly pulls the covers away from his face. "Yes?" He looks guilty, his face flushed more than his fever is causing...so he's embarrassed. But why?

Wait. 

"Cas..." _Do you want to cuddle? Are you okay with cuddling with me? I don't mind cuddling with you._

But it comes out, "Are you really that cold?" He's more harsh than he intends to be, and he can tell as rejection flashes in Castiel's deep blue eyes that he truly is that cold. 

"No." He mutters, averting his gaze from Dean's, focusing back on his bee documentary. Dean swallows, his throat suddenly really dry, because _he's about to lay in the same bed under the same covers with Cas and he wants to and Cas actually wants him to._

Dean walks over to the other side of the bed, takes a deep breath, and climbs onto the bed. Castiel begins to roll over, protesting the action. "D-Dean-" Castiel isn't so sure he's stuttering from the cold anymore. 

"Shut up." Dean says, but not rudely. He lifts up the heavy amount of blankets and slides in, right next to Castiel's burning form. He gently rolls Castiel over to where he's facing his documentary again, ignoring his red face, hand on his side until he slowly sides it down, wrapping his arm around his torso, carefully avoiding his sensitive stomach. Castiel's trembling subsides a little, and he presses a little closer to Dean, back flush against his front. "Thank you, Dean." he says gratefully. Dean, actually pretty damn comfortable, mumbles back a "Mmm hmm."

There are many questions running through the young Winchester's mind, such as _"Why does Cas want to cuddle with me?", "Why did he get closer?", "Why am I so comfortable?", "Why is_ he _so comfortable?",_ and _"Why am I suddenly questioning everything like a teenage girl?"_ But he figures those can be answered later, after Castiel feels better, and when they have a time and a place to talk about it. Until then, he's going to go to sleep, considering Castiel already had the same idea (he went out like a light) and is no longer shaking. 

One final question plagues his mind as he drifts off to sleep. 

_"Does Cas feel the same about me?"_


	3. Star Trek: Into Gayness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3: Watching a Movie

"Dude, quit hogging the popcorn."

"I haven't eaten in a day, Dean. I only now realized just how hungry I am."

Dean rolls his eyes, but his smile gives away his faux annoyance. "Glad to see you're feeling better." Castiel nods in agreement, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth. Dean snorts as pieces fall messily out of his mouth and all over his shirt. Usually he's the one who eats like a raging animal, not Cas (unless they're having burgers). But he guesses if the teen is hungry enough, he will eat wildly as well. 

It's Tuesday afternoon, a couple hours after school. Unfortunately, Dean had to endure hell without his best friend alongside him. Castiel was still sick well through the night, throwing up more after waking up from his nap. Dean helped take care of him, switching out with Castiel's siblings after they arrived home. He spent the night on the couch, hoping he didn't wake up sick. But he was fine, and he still is fine.

Mostly. 

There is something bothering him, but it's not his immune system. It's his hormones and his feelings. 

They suck. 

\---

He had woken up Monday afternoon with a sweaty Castiel clinging to him, fever broken. Dean was grateful, but there were multiple things wrong with the situation he was in- Castiel's head on his chest, arm thrown over his stomach and grasping his side, and leg wrapped around his possessively, knee pushing up into his crotch. It wasn't too bad until Cas shifted. 

Dean inhaled sharply, pleasure rushing through him unnecessarily. He felt his dick twitch, and he willed the blood flow to go elsewhere- he didn't care where, just not his penis. 

He really didn't want to wake Cas up. But he also really didn't want to have a hard-on because of him. He tried to pry Cas's limbs off him, which only resulting in him tightening his hold and groaning quietly. Fuck. 

"Cas." Dean pushed at him desperately. "Get off." Another protest, a _moan_ , this time, and it shot straight to his dick. Oh yeah, he was definitely half-hard now. 

"Fuck." he exclaimed in a wrecked whisper. He couldn't just wake him up- he would see Dean's...situation. But he couldn't just sit there either. With Cas so close to him and touching him and how fucking _good it felt_...well. That wouldn't end well either. 

He decided to just shove him off, which could potentially wake him up. If he did...? Well. Dean would have to deal. He figured that since they were already borderline boyfriends by now- which he didn't know how he felt about that yet- it would possibly push them past that border. He knew how he felt about Cas but he wasn't 100% sure how Cas felt about him. He had an idea, but...he didn't want to be wrong and screw everything up. 

With a deep breath, Dean shoved Castiel away, who groaned loudly and raised his head to glare at Dean sleepily. His hair was untamed and everywhere (Dean secretly wished he was the cause of that, which made his boner worse). Dean jumped out of bed quickly, with a rapid excuse of "Sorry dude, gotta pee" and rushed out of the room to use the bathroom that Cas hasn't infected.

\---

He doesn't think Cas had even suspected a thing, because he was out when Dean came back. 

"Finally, it's starting." Dean reaches into the popcorn bowl to find most of it gone. He glares at Cas and snatches he bowl. "Really?" Cas shrugs, a guilty smile on his face. "Sorry." Dean sighs, not actually angry but happy that Cas is eating something, and shakes his head. "It's fine, just watch the movie." It's _Star Trek: Into Darkness_ , something Dean has seen a million times but Cas has never seen in his life. Dean figures now is a perfect time to watch it.

"You know, Dean," Castiel speaks, about halfway through the movie, "Jim and Spock remind me of us." Dean looks over to Cas in surprise, who is completely focused on the battle against the Klingons. 

He's never realized before that he agrees with Cas. Now that it's been brought to attention, it seems that Kirk and Spock and him and Cas have many parallels. 

"Yeah, me too." 

"Jim and you are natural born leaders with cocky attitudes and-" Castiel is interrupted by Dean's reference. "-'don't believe in no-win scenarios?'" He grins proudly. 

After a pause, Castiel says, "I was going to suggest 'popular among the female race', but that works as well." 

Dean rolls his eyes. "And you and Spock practically speak a difference language from everyone else. You're both very logical thinkers and you're both knowledgeable. Sometimes neither of you understand things others would find easy to get." Castiel nods slowly. "Yes, I agree."

"Maybe we could cosplay as them sometime." Dean suggests, thinking about Charlie's invitation to _Comic Con_ , and Castiel smiles at the idea. "Sure, if you want."

Dean finds himself watching Cas, picturing him dressed as Spock (which looks as sexy as hell), more than the rest of the movie. 

\---

Castiel is confused. "Wait. I thought..."

Yeah. He's very confused. 

"What's wrong, Cas?" Dean wonders, and Castiel turns away from the rolling credits, but not to look at Dean. His bed sheets are far more interesting.

"Nothing is wrong." Cas is just embarrassed for himself. Maybe he just...misinterpreted Charlie's words. 

"Did you not like the movie?" Dean wonders. Castiel shakes his head. "No, I loved the movie. It was good. I'm just..." He takes a deep breath. "I was under the assumption that Spock would leave Uhura for Jim."

Dean is silent for a second before he remarks, "You thought they were _gay_?" Castiel's face flushes, and he defends himself. "Charlie told me one time that 'they are the gayest couple who ever gay'd'." He uses air quotes to emphasize his points, and Dean bursts out laughing. Castiel breathes a sigh of relief. Dean didn't suspect a thing. "Well, the original Kirk and Spock acted like it, for sure." he says, grinning. And then it falters. "Wait. If you thought they were gay...then why'd you say that they reminded you of us?" 

That's when Castiel knew he was fucked. 

"I-I was merely insinuating that they have a strong friendship much like you and I. I didn't mean to say that we were dating." Then, he added for good measure (and he secretly hoped Dean would deny it), "I'm aware that you aren't gay."

"Oh, okay." (Damn.) "Wait. What about you?"

Castiel feels the panic spread through him. This wasn't supposed to be his "coming out" speech. This was supposed to be a little hint about their possibly expanding relationship...

Now it seemed to be heading in the completely opposite direction. 

Cas swallows hard, throat burning in protest. "What about me?"

"You said you knew that I wasn't gay...but nothing about you not being gay." Cas really didn't want to lie to Dean. He was a shitty liar in the first place, and he didn't like to lie either. 

He tried for only replying, "So?" His inner voice (which sounded a lot like Gabe for some reason) snorts. _Oh yeah, you tell him, Cas._

Dean gets closer, lowering his voice to a serious tone. "Cas. Are you gay?"

Cas's vision turns watery, so he keeps his gaze down. "I understand if you don't want to associate with me any more."

"Whoa, Cas, what?" Dean exclaims protestingly. 

"Dean, we have held hands, slept in the same bed, cuddled, and taken care of each other in general over the course of four days. We have been friends for many years and I've known about this for a while and I didn't tell you. I committed those acts without your consent and I apologize because that was wrong of me. You probably feel extremely awkward if not angry right now and I don't blame you if you do."

Instead of agreeing with him like Cas expects Dean to do, his best friend throws his arm around his shoulders. This makes him jump in surprise, but he enjoys the sensation of Dean touching him too much to feel guilty about allowing him to put his arm around him. Dean sighs, his hate for talking about feelings present, but not preventing him from doing so. "Cas...considering you don't seem to remember, let me refresh your memory. I allowed all those things to happen because I wanted them to. Okay? So don't go blaming yourself for all that. I didn't mind, and I don't mind that your gay. Hell, _Charlie_ is gay too! So this changes nothing that's happened. Got it?" Castiel looks up to Dean with wet eyes, but smiles weakly and nods. Dean returns the smile, and that makes his stomach do summersaults. "Got it. Thank you, Dean." Dean nods. "You're welcome." 

Dean is actually so happy right now. Cas coming out fills him with more confidence that Castiel feels the same way.

And he wants to tell Cas that he's bi- because he still thinks girls are hot, but he's also checked out a couple guys, and he thinks Castiel is fucking beautiful, something he has never called _anyone_. 

But...he can't. The words are stuck in his throat. 

"Dean." Castiel's gravelly voice breaks him of his thoughts. 

"Yeah?"

"You're staring."

He is. But he doesn't care. Dean studies how flushed Castiel's cheeks are, and the hope in his brilliant blue eyes...so he goes for it.

"Maybe I am." His voice is as low as Cas's now, head tilting towards his ever-so slightly. 

Castiel's heart is beating so fast, it sounds like one long, continuous beat. Dean's about to kiss him. Dean Winchester, his best friend and the one he's crushed on for so _so_ long, is about to kiss him. 

That is, until, Dean's phone rings boisterously, nearly scaring the piss out of both of them and causing them to jump miles away from each other. Dean rushes to answer the phone.

"Yo, what's up, Sammy?" He clears his throat so he sounds more normal. 

_"Mom wants you to come home tonight, and she also is wondering if you'll pick up some pizza on the way here."_

"Yeah, I'll leave now. Bye." He hangs up abruptly, shaken from the intense moment. He immediately starts gathering his stuff, avoiding eye contact with Castiel. The room is nearly suffocating them with awkwardness and tension, and he can't bring himself to even look in the general direction of Cas. His face is burning and he wants to go kiss the shit out of him, but he also just...doesn't. "I'm sorry, dude, I gotta go." he says quickly. "Mom wants me home pronto." He adds, grabbing his jacket. "Bye." And he rushes out the door without looking back at his...what the hell were they even now?

\---

It takes Dean about ten times to type out a text to Castiel. He wants to talk to him in person, right now, but he's sure he's screw that up more than he would through a text. 

**Dean: Hey I'm sorry about earlier I kinda freaked out so I was gonna ask you if you feel better tomorrow if you want to go out and talk about everything because we really need to talk**

Cas thankfully replies immediately. 

**_Cas: Do you know what a period is, Dean?_ **

**Dean: yeah their overrated now will you please answer me before I feel like even more of a dick**

**_Cas: You're not a dick. I actually threw up not long after you left, so I don't know if I'll be at school tomorrow. It depends how I feel in the morning. I apologize if not. I know this must be urgent considering you actually want to talk about your feelings._ **

Dean feels disappointed and guilty. He's sure he's responsible for Cas throwing up again, given his nervousness through the ordeal. 

**Dean: yeah it's important for sure but it can wait since your still sick. Sorry about that I fell like that's my fault**

**_Cas: It's not your fault. If I am better tomorrow, we can talk at the diner after school._ **

Dean takes a couple minutes debating on flirting with him, and decides to take the risk. 

**Dean: So like a date? ;)**

**_Cas: ;P Good night, Dean._ **

**Dean: Lol night Cas**


	4. This So-Called "Disease"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: On a Date

When Castiel misses English the next day, Dean assumes that he's still sick. Disappointment makes it's home in the pit of his stomach, and he spends the majority of the class checking his phone for a reply and thinking about his angel...

...and also why he can possibly think that Castiel is at all _his_. 

Because he's not.

Yet. 

Unless you ask a select few. 

Students left and right are commenting on Dean's presence and Castiel's absence, one being Alistair. Major dickbag. Hates Dean's guts for no apparent reason. 

"Why aren't you with your boyfriend, Winchester?" he taunts with a shit-eating smirk. 

"Same reason you're not with yours." Dean snaps, not even bothering to stop and turn around to give Alistair the satisfaction. 

"Oh please, I'm not the faggot here, and I won't let you either of you change that and infect me with your gayness."

Yeah okay, that pisses Dean off. He turns the fuck around and storms up to Alistair. "Being gay isn't a fucking disease, you big bag of dicks." he spits out. Alistair smirks in success, proud that he has stuck a nerve. He continues his attack. 

"Yeah it is, and you defending this only proves your gay." Dean can't help but think of both Charlie and Cas, who he cares defending about more than himself. He knows he's bi, and he's not going to admit nor deny it.

"Your brains are screwed up, Winchester, and guess where that's sending you?" Dean's fists are clenched so hard that his knuckles are stark white against the tan of his skin. "Great, I'll see you there, you son of a bitch." Alistair shrugs simply, not commenting any further on that matter. "I'm reporting you to Coach. You'll be not only off the baseball team, but the wrestling team too." 

"Oh, really?" Dean laughs humorlessly, "What evidence do you have regarding my sexuality, huh? Oh, wait, I remember, there was that time when I made out with Bela in the janitor's closet." Dean notices Alistair's eye twitch in pure anger, and he knows he has the lead now. Bela was Alistair's girlfriend for a couple months during their sophomore year until she very rudely dumped his ass. She then proceeded to jump Dean in the closet a couple days later, but Dean couldn't bring himself to care at the time. He smirks, although he doesn't care too much for the thought of making out with her. God only knew where that tongue had been. "Yeah, that was no rumor." Alistair's jaw is clenched, and yeah, Dean definitely struck a nerve there. 

"You're a _bi_ man-whore then, Winchester?" His voice is straining against his will to stay calm. "Because you're sure as hell not straight. You and Castiel? You guys are too fucking close to be 'just friends'. You constantly eye-fuck each other. And probably butt-fuck too. You like that Winchester? You like it up the ass?"

If there were a gauge that measured who was winning at staying calm, the arrow would be pointing at Alistair at the moment. Dean is about to loose it. "I'm sure you'll like it up the ass when I shove my foot up there." He practically growls. 

"Is that how you convert normal people to your sickening kind?" Alistair's last comment sends Dean over the edge. He spits right in Alistair's face, saliva splattering all over him. He yelps loudly, wiping his face with his shirt sleeve. 

"No, Alistair, _that_ is how you turn gay. A straight person spits in a homophobic, judgmental _dick's_ face, and he suddenly starts to shit rainbows. Now get out of here, you _ignorant fuck_."

Alistair throws a punch, but Dean's reflexes are too quick. He leans back, the air whooshing past his jaw. 

"Alistair!" a voice shouts from behind him. Alistair turns, and Dean looks around him to see Zachariah, who yells again while ushering Alistair forward. "C'mon dude, Gay-chester's not worth missing pizza for." Alistair turns back to Dean, glaring intensely. Dean smirks smugly. "Yeah, I ain't worth missing another chance for a heart attack over." Alistair points a long finger right in Dean's face. "I'll get you for this, Winchester. You watch your damn back." And with that, the two are gone. 

Dean rolls his eyes with a deep sigh, turns to make his way to his class- late, might he add- and he finds none other than Castiel coming out of his hiding place- the space between the lockers and the wall. And he looks pissed, so Dean knows he heard the entire thing. 

"Cas?" Dean exclaims, and rushes towards him. Castiel is glaring over his shoulder, and Dean glances behind him to make sure Dick 1 and Dick 2 are gone. 

"They better not touch a damn hair on your head." Castiel's voice almost sounds normal, low and threatening. He finally looks at Dean. Dean feels a rush of emotions- concern and relief and what he thinks is pure adoration. "I can take Alistair's gang easily, Cas. Don't worry about me. They just better not mess with you."

Castiel scowls. "I can take care of myself too, Dean. But you alone can't take on all five of them. I doubt the both of us can either, actually." Dean imagines taking on Alistair, Azazel, Zachariah, Uriel, and Raphael alone, and then with Cas. They're both strong and decent fighters, but it still wouldn't turn out too pretty. 

"Yeah, but you're still overcoming this sickness, so you're in no condition to be fighting anyone." Dean says, and then backtracks. "Wait- why are you even here, Cas?" Castiel shrugs simply. "I forgot to set my alarm but I felt well enough to come to school, so I did." 

Dean feels kinda stupid now, but he doesn't really know why. "Oh. And you didn't think to text me because...?"

Castiel shifts, shuffling his feet and averting his gaze from Dean's curious gaze. "I was nervous." he admits sheepishly. Dean can't help but smile fully at that, thinking how adorable that is, and then wondering where the hell his masculinity scampered off to.

"Well if you want, I can avoid you for the rest of the day and we can talk after school." He smirks and leans against the lockers with his arms folded over his chest. 

"Okay." Castiel says simply, catching Dean off guard. He blinks and his smile falls in shock, but by the time he manages to recollect himself, Castiel is already halfway down the hall. 

"Hey, wait!" Dean calls after him. Cas turns, sending him a taunting smirk, and then turns down another hall, disappearing from Dean's vision. Dean sighs and falls against the lockers again, unable to keep the dorky smile off his face. 

Until he realizes he's about 10 minutes late to class, and that he's probably screwed. With that, he sets off in the opposite direction that Cas fled in, ready to receive an earful from his teacher. 

\---

After school (and also after Dean makes sure Sam gets into his friend Jess's car safely), Dean and Cas are in the Impala, heading to Johnny Mac's Diner. The tension could be cut with a knife, so Dean blares Metallica to help ease it away. Castiel knows why, too- it helps calm him down. It makes him feel a little relieved that he isn't the only one nervous. 

The only sounds that come from either of them are Cas's coughs that have died down in intensity since he had first come down with the illness, but have not completely gone away. Cas is grateful that his voice is normal again and that the coughing doesn't make his chest burn anymore. 

Dean pulls into the nearly abandoned parking lot of the diner, parking right in front since the spaces were available. He cuts the engine, Metallica switching off as he opens the squeaky door. 

Nothing is said until the two get inside and sit down across from each other at a booth. A waitress- Cindy, a young, curvy blonde, but not anyone Dean is interested in flirting with right now- approaches them. After getting their drink orders and not receiving any attention from Dean for sticking out her chest to show off her boobs, she walks away, slightly disappointed. 

"Okay." Dean says, but that's all he can get out before his throat closes up. He knows he's shit at this whole "confessing his undying love" thing and Castiel's intense, deep blue stare isn't helping. 

"Okay?" Castiel repeats questioningly, and Dean nods. "Yeah."

More silence ensues. 

Cindy returns with their drinks and sets them down by their respected drinkers. "Are you guys ready to order?"

Dean knows Castiel's favorite by now, so he orders for the both of them. "One double cheeseburger for him, and one bacon cheeseburger for me. Both with fries." He grins proudly up at Cindy, who pretends to be amused but is truly annoyed that Dean doesn't seem to like her. She writes down their orders and head off with a promise to bring them out shortly. Cas kicks Dean lightly under the table. "I could've ordered for myself, you know." Dean kicks him back, just a little harder, with an amused smirk. "Yeah, I know." Cas kicks him again, and Dean laughs. "Okay, I guess we should talk now."

"That would be nice." Castiel says around his straw before taking a large sip of water for his suddenly dry throat. 

"Okay. Well. Uh. Since you're uh...gay and all," Dean lowers his voice, even though there is no one near them to listen in anyway. Castiel blushes furiously, sucking even more water down. Dean continues, "I guess I should mention that...I'm bi." He confesses this with his own blush, the tabletop suddenly a lot more interesting than Cas's extremely attractive and even more distracting face. Castiel chokes on his water in surprise, and sits up. "What? Since when?!" he exclaims, and then realizes how loud he had said that. Dean looks up to meet his gaze bravely, not bothered by his volume. "Since you." He smiles softly, causing Castiel to blush again, shock consuming him. His heart is running a marathon in his chest. His stomach is crowded with rapidly fluttering butterflies. He can't believe that Dean actually _likes **him.**_

Dean's smile falls as Castiel stares at him with huge eyes and his face drained of color. Doubt begins to eat at him. Maybe he's wrong. Maybe he's been wrong this entire time. 

Castiel opens his mouth to say something, but suddenly, Cindy is back with their food. She sits the burgers in front of the both of them and then stands there, looking between the both of them. "Anything else I can do for you?"

"No." Castiel says, maybe a little too forcefully. Dean even cringes. His voice has a slight tremor and Cindy is offended once again as she stalks off, but he can't bring himself to care as he smiles harder than he ever remembers smiling before. That's what settles the doubt and fear coiling in the pit of Dean stomach. He sighs deeply in relief and takes a long drink of his coke. "So that wasn't the absolute worst thing to say?"

"Dean, that was the absolute _best_ thing to say." Castiel assures. Dean checks his surroundings to make sure there aren't any spies and then reaches across the table to grab Cas's hand and hold it without intertwining their fingers. The gesture sends shivers down Castiel's spins as Dean's warm hand envelops his. He can't believe this is actually happening. 

"Awesome," Dean breathes, "Now, uh, you think we could try yesterday over?" he wonders bashfully. It takes Castiel a second to understand that Dean was talking about the kiss that almost happened, and flushes. "Not yet. I'm still sick, you know." He mumbles, because his irrational side kind of wants to climb on top of Dean and tongue-fuck him like he's dreamed about recently, but his logical side knows that Dean would only get sick once again. 

Also they were kind of in public. 

"Oh, c'mon, Cas..." Dean whines, and Castiel slips his hand under Dean's, brings it to his lips and kisses it gently. "There." He chuckles at the flush that spreads across Dean's checks, bringing out the freckles that are dusted over them. 

"Thanks, Cas." Dean mumbles, taking his hand away and grinning lopsidedly. They stop flirting to begin eating, both boys taking giant bites of their burgers. Castiel, who appreciates burgers as much as Dean does pie, lets out a pleasureful groan. The noise halts all of Dean's processes and goes straight down south. He swallows his food hard, which isn't chewed enough and hurts going down. He tries taking a drink of his coke to help, and coaxes himself into calming down. If he can't kiss Cas right now, he certainly can't jump him. 

And he respects that. He wants this thing he has with Cas to be good and go right. He wants an actual relationship with him. Dean makes sure that he knows this before the date is over, and they talk about boundaries and all sorts of important, mature stuff between eating their burgers and fries. 

\---

As Dean pulls up into the Novak's driveway, Castiel looks over to him. "Thank you, Dean."

"No problem, Cas." As Cas gets out of the car, he looks back at him. "Next time, I'm paying!" And he closes the door on Dean's laughter. They wave goodbye, and Dean sets off towards home, one giant weight lifted, but another taking it's place. 

They have to hide their relationship at school, and deal with all the assholes who are already antagonizing them. 

They also have to hide it from their family for now, because neither of them are even close to ready to come out. They barely could to each other, after all. 

But he can ignore all that for now. Dean sighs blissfully as he walks into his house. He's extremely happy, and nothing on Earth is going to ruin that. 

"Why do you have that look on your face?" his little brother Sam questions him from the couch. He's watching some documentary like the little nerd he is. Dean shrugs, playing it off innocent. "What look on my face?"

"You look like you just got laid." Sam remarks with a smirk, and Dean scoffs. "Can I not just be happy, ya sasquatch?" Sam pretends to ponder that for a second. "Hm...no." Dean rushes over to him, traps him in a headlock, and gives him a noogie that makes his unruly hair go everywhere. He yells out in protest, squirming to get away from his brother. "Augh, Dean!" He's laughing, though, and the older Winchester stops and collapses on the couch beside him. 

"It's Cas, isn't it?" Sam asks, breathlessly. Dean stiffens, and looks over to his brother, alarmed. "What do you mean by that?"

"He's all better now." Sam replies, and Dean relaxes visibly. "Oh, yeah." He folds his arms behind his head and grins. "It's something like that."

Sam laughs once and rolls his eyes. His brother is so in love with Cas it almost hurts _him._

He just wishes the two idiots would get together already.


	5. Kiss and Don't Tell (Even Though Everyone Already Knows)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: Kissing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you happen to be reading my Destiel story "Lights Will Guide You Home", this is kind of the same plotline. This series is helping me write the other one, but there aren't really any spoilers so don't worry about it
> 
> Also I apologize if I mix up my tenses >_>

_**I'm coming over.** _

The message that starts it all. 

It's Saturday night, and Cas sends him that text. Normally, Dean would be ecstatic to have Cas over. But this time, it's not under normal circumstances. 

Something's wrong. 

Ever since Thursday, Castiel has been down, and too busy for Dean to comfort him (or kiss him, which he has been dying to do) anywhere outside of school (which, if he were to do it in school, it would only earn the homophobic comments of almost everyone). A message is what ruins everything, including Castiel's mood: Michael and Lucifer, his older brothers, were coming to visit, and so was their father, but only for the weekend (and although they have Monday off, he was going to leave on Sunday).

Mr. Novak never visits. He doesn't have time to, because works as the head of a large business corporation far away in New York. Apparently, it's so he can grieve about the death of his wife, which Castiel claims that he and his older brothers blame on him, considering that she got deathly ill soon after giving birth to him. 

It doesn't help that Mrs. Novak had bright blue eyes and dark brown hair. Cas is almost a spitting image of her. 

Seeing the guilt in Cas's eyes made Dean want to take all his pain away, but he couldn't do anything but place a comforting hand on his shoulder (again, because of homophobes).

Now, it looks like he would have the chance to offer a little more comfort, because he knows that something has happened. But he knows for sure that Cas doesn't need to walk to his house (because he doesn't have a car yet). Normally it would be okay, but it's pitch black outside, cold, and about to pour down rain. 

**I'll pick u up**

He snatches up his keys and wallet, steps into his boots, and shrugs his leather jacket on. He hurries down the stairs, shouting to his parents, "Mom! Dad! I gotta go pick up Cas!" They're both in the living room, though, and when he's in there, they're both turned around, facing him. 

"What happened?" Mary wonders, concern etched all across her face. John cares too, Dean knows, but his face remains stoic. They both know all about Cas's family, considering they have raised him like a third son ever since fifth grade. 

"I don't know," Dean answers, pulling out his phone as it goes off. 

_**I'm already walking.** _

Dean let's out a heavy, frustrated sigh. "But I gotta go pick him up before he gets his sorry ass sick again for walking." Mary scolds him for his language, but he's already out the door and he honestly doesn't care. 

He drives for about five minutes, lightning flashing menacingly across the sky, highlighting giant thunderheads in ivory light. He even thinks he sees a wall cloud, but it's too dark to tell. They live in Kansas, which is known for tornadoes, but it's still considered winter, and tornado season isn't until spring. He likes watching them, but it wouldn't be the best time to have one. 

When he finds Cas, he pulls over on the side of the road and gets out, leaving the car running and the heat on. Castiel looks at him like he is a god, which Dean can't help but flush at, because he is nothing close to one. 

He surges forward and practically tackles Dean, holding onto him for dear life, face buried in his chest. Dean wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer, pushing his face into Castiel's wild hair and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "C'mon, let's go back to my place before it starts pouring."

Because Dean's luck is shit, though, the sky opens up right then, practically soaking their clothes. They sprint to his baby, seeking shelter from the storm. It's warm in the inside, and Dean is incredibly thankful for heating. Castiel shivers at the sudden temperature change, huddling in his trench coat. Dean shrugs his jacket off and hands it to Cas, who takes it silently but gratefully. 

Castiel watches lightning slice through the sky, and Dean watches Castiel when he's not watching the road. 

\---

Dean doesn't bombard Cas with questions, and neither do his parents or Sam. They enter the house sopping wet, the run from the car to the house not short enough to avoid getting pelted. Mary ushers them upstairs to get changed out of their wet clothes, and once they're back downstairs, Castiel borrowing a pair of sweats and an ACDC T-shirt from Dean, they drink some hot chocolate. 

Suddenly, Castiel starts speaking, which startles Dean slightly. "My father couldn't make it here," he begins quietly, staring into his hot chocolate mug with tired eyes, "At first, we thought something had happened, because he hadn't arrived and he wouldn't answer our calls or call us. Finally, around six, he called Michael. He just stated that he had some important business to attend to and that he was sorry, and hung up. Lucifer got angry after this." Castiel's grip tightens on the handle of his mug, and Dean gets a sudden feeling that Lucifer may of gotten _too_ angry. "Did he hurt you?" he demands, and Castiel jumps at his raged tone. "Because I swear, if he hurt you-"

"Dean, I'm _fine_." Castiel assures, voice hard. "He began to yell at me, saying it was my fault that out father wouldn't come because I'm the one who killed our mother, and that he couldn't face me considering I look exactly like her."

"You don't believe that, do you, Cas?" Sam wonders, beating Dean to the punch. 

Castiel remains silent, gently fingering the handle of the mug in front of him. His eyes are focused there so he doesn't have to see the worry in all the Winchester's faces. 

"Cas?" Dean tries, and Castiel suddenly just _can't._ He springs up from his chair, the legs protesting as they scooted along the tiled floor with a loud, echoed shrill. "Excuse me." He rushes out of the kitchen and upstairs. Dean is quick to follow. He sends a look to Mary a and Sam saying, "I got this" and leaves the kitchen. 

He finds the troubled teen sitting on the edge of his bed with his head buried in his hands. He takes a seat beside him, the bed dipping and forcing them closer together. He wants to say so many things, but the first sentence leaving his mouth is a a stupid question. "Cas, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Cas growls back. Dean places one hand on Cas's shoulder and the other on his forearm and gently pries his face from his hands. His eyes, now focused on Dean, are red-rimmed, blue irises popping out from the contrast, but his face isn't damp, only his eyes. Dean can tell he's on the verge of crying, which he hasn't seen Cas do in a _long_ time. "Bullshit. Talk to me, man. Please don't tell me you seriously believe that this is all somehow your damn fault."

Cas looks away, sad eyes giving away his feeling of guilt. 

Dean is almost angry that Cas could even think that, but he guesses he understood why it is the case. "Castiel Novak, you look at me right now." His voice is assertive, and Cas obeys as he turns his gaze back to his best friend. His _boyfriend._ His entire world. 

Dean takes a deep breath before allowing words to cascade out of his mouth like a waterfall. "It was not your fault that your mother died. It is not your fault that your dad can't move on for the sake of his family, more importantly, his own children. Your dad...is kind of a shit father. Okay? He is. Him and your brother and whoever else argue with him are wrong. Nothing is your fault, and if they really think that, they can get the hell over it. We'll always have your back, though, Cas. We're family. We need you, you know. I...I especially need you." He's flushing at the end, eyes on Cas's hands instead of his face, because he was too nervous to see his reaction. 

It only takes a second for Cas to burst into tears. It surprises Dean, not even thinking he could elicit that sort of response, and he quickly pulls him into a loving embrace and holds his trembling form to his chest tightly as he sobs and sniffs. He tears up a little himself, but doesn't let himself cry, and stays strong for Cas because he needs him to. 

An undetermined time later, they're laying on Dean's bed in silence, Cas still being cradled against Dean's chest, sniffing, but having calmed down enough to stop crying. 

"Thank you, Dean." Cas croaks out, and then clears his throat. Dean smiles and presses a light kiss into his mussed hair. "You don't need to thank me." Cas sits up onto his elbows to look Dean dead in the eyes. "Yes, I do. You're always there for me, and I really appreciate it."

"Not like you're never there for me, Cas." Dean replies uncomfortably, because even though he practically gave a speech about his feelings, he's bad at expressing emotions through words. He prefers actions. 

Which makes him really want to kiss Cas, who's face is really close to his, who's popping blue eyes are boring into his own, who's lips look chapped but plump and he found himself wanting to lick and bite and suck them (well, that could come later, when they're further in their relationship maybe).

Cas seems to have the same idea, though, because he leans down closer, cautiously, but Dean meets him halfway impatiently and then they're kissing, slowly and tenderly despite Dean's impatience. Cas's lips are soft and perfect and kissing him is easily his new favorite pastime. His neck is straining from the strange angle, so he brings his hand up to the back of Cas's neck and pulls him down, which deepens the kiss as well. Unintentional, but Cas really doesn't mind and places a hand into Dean's hair, the other beside him so he can remain balanced above Dean, body halfway over his. 

The kiss doesn't escalate from there, although Dean halfway wants it to with the slight, accidental brushes of tongue and teeth. It's their first kiss, Cas is emotionally unstable, and they have much more time to make out later on, so they keep it chaste. Dean soothing runs his hands along Cas's back, up into his hair, and then back down again. He notices Cas moving into almost every touch. 

A series of noises that sound like footsteps makes them both jump, Cas away from Dean abruptly. Someone, Dean is sure it's John, stands at the door for a few moments, and the teens hold their breath until the person walks away. They let out deep breaths, more like sighs of relief, and then look towards each other. They both laugh nervously, faces flushed red. Cas lays back down and buries his face into Dean's chest.

"You okay?" Dean wonders, pushing his fingers into Castiel's hair. The teen hums a tired reply. Dean angles his head and kisses the back of neck, just because it is there and he can. Cas shivers in response, so he saves the reaction in his memory banks for future reference. 

Cas really wants to explain to Dean how much he loves him, and has loved him all this time, and how he makes him feel, but he's drained, like he cried out not only all his tears but his energy. So instead he falls asleep to the rhythmic motion of Dean's fingers carding through his hair.

\---

Sam is enjoying his second round of hot chocolate with his mother as they play cards. Strategy is one of his strong suits, and he's winning almost every game they play. 

"How did you get so good at this?" Mary wonders, smiling as she shuffles the deck after loosing yet another round to her son. Sam shrugs, smiling cheekily. "I learned from the best." Mary rolls her eyes, still smiling. "Flattery will get you no where."

"Don't listen to her, she said the same thing to me about twenty-five years ago." John jumps in with a grin, watching his wife and son bond as he leans against the doorway of the kitchen. Mary laughs fondly in remembrance, dealing out cards for the two of them. "Has it really been that long?"

"Our boys are nearly grown now, Mary." John says, and Mary looks across the table to Sam. "No, not my little boys. They're still my babies." She reaches across the table and ruffles Sam's hair. He protests with a groan of "Mooom" and bats her hand away gently. 

"Are you sure you don't want a haircut?" Mary asks, and Sam shakes his head. She sighs, but she's not irritated, and she looks back at her husband. "How are they?" John shrugs. "They were quiet, so I figured they'd heard me walk up. I know teenagers- they aren't going to talk with their parents listening in. And you didn't want me walking in there. I almost did, though. Silence worries me." Mary sighs again and looks in the direction of the stairs, ignoring the fact that John almost disobeyed her. "Anna called the house, wondering if he was here. I asked her if we could keep him for a couple of days. She understands." She looks to John hopefully, who doesn't seem like he's sure of the idea. "Mary-"

"Don't you even start this again, John Winchester." she replies with a stern tone. Sam's parents haven't fought much recently, but he still hates it when it happens. He places his hand down onto the table and shrinks against the back of the chair, glancing back and forth between their tense glares. 

Suddenly, they realize that they are about to argue over a sensitive topic in front of their youngest, John motions to him. Mary turns to Sam. "Hey, why don't you go check on them, okay? Knock on the door, but don't go in unless you don't get a reply. Just to make sure they're still in there." Sam nods obediently and leaves the room quickly...but he stops on the stairs to listen to his parents argue. 

"I don't know if letting him stay is a good idea." John begins quietly. 

"He's stayed before, John!" Mary claims. 

"For a weekend. Two days."

"What's wrong with a couple more?" Sam pictures his mother crossing her arms. 

"You know what's wrong with a couple more."

"John. They're best friends-"

"They're too close to only be friends, Mary. They can't be so damn blind that they don't realize that they're in love."

"What about us, John?"

"What about us? I knew I loved you the moment I saw you."

Mary's tone softens almost nostalgically. "But we couldn't see how we felt about each other. So we didn't say anything at first."

"Mary, this is different."

"How is it, John? Because they're both boys?"

"Well-"

"Love is love." Mary dead-pans. John sighs agitatedly. 

"Okay. That's fine. Dean being gay or bi or whatever is fine. He's still my son. But I'm gonna treat Castiel like every other girl Dean has dated- no staying in his room."

"He has ever since they were little. Don't you think it's a little suspicious that suddenly we're like 'hey, you can't sleep in the same room anymore'?" Mary points out. 

"Then we talk to them." John suggests, but he doesn't sound so sure anymore. 

"About what? The fact that we know they like each other and that they're gay? Dean hasn't told us yet. We don't need to push it. We need for him to tell us when he is ready. The same goes for Cas, and the same goes for their relationship."

"What if they're already in a relationship, Mary? They're in the same room right now."

"We just have to trust they won't do anything, then. Even if we told them not to, John, you know Dean- he would do it anyway. It's _Cas_."

"I guess you're right. We do have a guest room for a reason, though."

"Okay. So we leave them alone about everything, and we convince Cas to take the guest room."

"Deal. See, we can compromise sometimes."

"Yeah, because we make a pretty good team." 

Sam left quickly to actually complete his task when the kissing noises started. 

He couldn't say he was surprised that his parents knew about Dean and Cas's feelings too. He's known himself for a while- even when they were all younger, Sam probably about 9, Cas about 12, and Dean about 13, he vaguely recalls asking them if they were boyfriends. His parents thought it was adorable. Cas was embarrassed. Dean looked like he wanted to strangle him. 

When he knocked on the door and received no answer, he opened it to find them sleeping, pressed close against one another in an intimate way. 

That's when he just _knew_ that they were already together. He figures it is either a brotherly thing or a sixth sense that tells him, and he closes the door softly as to not wake them, smiling to himself, and headd back downstairs to report to his parents that they are asleep. 

And that's it. Because like his mom said, they can come out when they are ready. Either way, he is happy for the both of them.


End file.
